The Great Wind-Up Baby Swing conspiracy of 2003
Have you ever wondered why they don’t make wind-up baby swings anymore?
I used to have one for my son and it was the best thing ever.
I could put him in it and then go take a shower, or even a nap, and he would be perfectly content swinging away.
So what happened? Why did they stop making them?
I’ll tell you why…
The answer, my friends, is a conspiracy. A conspiracy of the highest order.
You see, back in 2003, the US government passed a law mandating that all baby swings be powered by batteries. Why, you might ask?
Two words: national security.
You see, the government was concerned that if all baby swings were powered by batteries, then terrorists could easily disable them by cutting the power supply.
But if they were powered by batteries, then they would be much harder to disable. And so, the Baby SwingBattery Act of 2003 was born.
Of course, the problem with this law is that it made baby swings much more expensive to operate.
Suddenly, parents were having to shell out $30 a month just to keep their baby’s swing going.
And so, many parents simply stopped using them altogether. Which is why you don’t see many wind-up baby swings anymore.
So there you have it: the great wind-up baby swing conspiracy of 2003.
Who would have thought that our government’s quest to keep us safe from terrorism would lead to the demise of one of our most beloved baby products?
If you ask me, it’s just another example of how we can’t always trust our government to do what’s best for us.
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